I have arrived at a startling realisation this morning, and that is the sure and unshakeable knowledge that the most dangerous, aggressive threat to the well-being of a jet-setting business person (like what I is) lies not in the complex cross-border fiscal regulations, nor in the interminable challenges posed by cultural and linguistic differences.
Non. The greatest thorn in the side (or to be accurate, all down the front) of the international business traveller is the Cooked Tomato (cherry variety).
I will not dwell too long on the full details of this mornings attack, suffice to say that I have proof-positive that not only are the little buggers bullet-proof armour-coated skins stuffed with ordinance held at mind-boggling pressures, and capable of striking as far away as the table ACROSS the gangway, but these munitions are also equipped with sophisticated napkin-avoidance systems that the fabled Stealth Bomber can only aspire-to.
My only retaliation, you will be pleased to know, was to retire to the Eurostar's Salle de bain with a replacement shirt, apologising to the nice stockbroker (yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt) opposite, and muttering curses on the little red f**kers and all who grow them.
By the way, the Exploding Tomato picture at the top is courtesy of Andrew Davidhazy of Rochester University (see, they don't just Rob Cars down there!)